Sheila Kwamboka Slams ‘Men Should Be Providers’ and ‘Real Men’ Labels: ‘Ladies, Stop the Double Standards!

Sheila Kwamboka aka 'Kwambox'

Sheila Kwamboka, the popular radio presenter and MC, is known for her fearless opinions, and she didn’t hold back in her latest rant. 

Kwamboka took aim at what she calls "vindictive" expectations some women have toward men, particularly when it comes to being financial providers. Her stance? It’s time for women to stop using phrases like “men should be providers” as a weapon.

“I Hate Hearing ‘Men Should Be Providers’—It’s Used to Attack Men”

Kwamboka opened up about her frustration with this common phrase, saying that while she believes men should step up to support their families, the phrase “men should be providers” often takes on a toxic edge. In her words, it’s too frequently used as a jab against men who may be facing hard times.

“‘Men should be providers’—I hate that statement. Do you know why? Because at that point, it’s used against the person, sometimes it’s vindictive,” she shared. Kwamboka recounted a story she heard on a podcast where a woman left her partner because he could no longer provide financially. When questioned, the woman insisted that he should apologize for his inability to support her and that he failed to be “a real man.”

‘Real Men’ — Another Phrase Kwamboka Can’t Stand

Another phrase that gets under Kwamboka’s skin is “real men.” The term, she says, is often tossed around by women who have no actual experience of being men but who somehow feel entitled to judge what a “real man” should be.

“‘Real men must…,’ ‘Real men do…,’” Kwamboka mimicked, shaking her head. “Ladies, if we’re being honest, what do we know about being a man? Are you basing your standards of ‘real men’ on personal experience—like you’ve lived as a man? Or is it just something you’ve picked up online or from others? Give grace to the men actually going through these challenges!”

Are Kenyan Women Copying Western Stereotypes?

Kwamboka also pointed out that many of these phrases seem borrowed from American culture, particularly from African-American women who have made it clear that they see themselves as distinct from Africans. Kwamboka questioned why Kenyan women are adopting attitudes from a culture that doesn't fully resonate with the realities and traditions in Kenya.

Kwamboka’s Message: “Let’s Show Men Some Grace”

Ultimately, Kwamboka wants women to be more supportive and understanding of men, especially during hard times. She emphasized that relationships should be about partnership, not unfair expectations. Her message to Kenyan women is loud and clear: stop using loaded phrases like “men should be providers” and “real men” to shame men, and start showing empathy.