The Real Reason Behind ‘Kugongewa’—and How to Avoid It

Cover image of 'unplugged' by Jacob Aliet.

Exposed: The Shocking Truth About 'Kugongewa'—Why Your Woman Might Be Cheating and How to Stop It

If you haven't heard, the streets are buzzing with a new Swahili slang: kugonga and kugongewa. And no, it has nothing to do with literal hammering. It’s about cheating—yes, the juicy, controversial kind. When you say, “umegongewa,” it means someone’s been cheated on. When you say, “nimegonga,” you’re admitting you’re the guilty party. But let’s be real, nobody likes being gongewad, right?

Jacob Aliet, author of Unplugged, sat down with Dr. Kingori recently and broke down this phenomenon that seems to be sweeping relationships everywhere. And what he said? Let’s just say it stirred the pot.

"Women Are Always Looking for a Better Man"

Yep, you read that right. Aliet didn’t hold back, claiming, “Women are always keeping an eye on the next man.” He went on to explain that many women approach relationships like jobs—they’re always scouting for a promotion. According to him, if a woman isn’t happy, she won’t hesitate to think about moving on, and sometimes that “next guy” is already waiting in the friend zone.

But why do women kugongewa (cheat) in the first place? Aliet has a few theories that might make you rethink your relationship strategy.

1. Revenge Mode Activated

Nobody likes to be wronged, and for some women, revenge means finding someone new to fill the void. So, if you've messed up, just know, she might just be tempted to "even the score."

2. Low Self-Esteem Blues

Aliet claims that low self-esteem can drive some women to seek validation from other men. When she feels she’s lacking attention, she might just start looking outside for a confidence boost.

3. Thrill-Seeking Behavior

Does your girlfriend need constant excitement? Watch out. Aliet says some women who hate boredom might just wander off to get a thrill, leading them straight into another guy’s arms.

4. The “Miss Independent” Mindset

These ladies value their freedom and hate being tied down. Aliet describes them as commitment-phobes, the type who always have their options open and might view “one-man-only” as too much of a limitation.

5. The Ovulation Urge

Yep, biology can also be a factor. Some women, Aliet suggests, find their desires heightened during ovulation, and sometimes, those natural urges are hard to resist.

Are Weak Men to Blame?

In a surprising twist, Aliet didn’t just stop at listing why women cheat—he pointed a finger at men too! “Today’s men are weak,” he claimed. “They want women to take care of them, and without a strong male figure, women feel they can go it alone.” Aliet argues that the lack of a strong, dependable partner is making some women believe they don’t need men at all. Hence, they feel more comfortable stepping out of the relationship.

So, How Can You Avoid Being Gongewad?

According to Aliet, it all boils down to one thing: take control of your relationship. He suggests that men who lead and know what they want can avoid getting cheated on. In other words, stop drifting and start steering!

But that’s not all—Aliet warns that you’ve got to keep a close eye on what’s happening around you. Sometimes, your relationship is heading for a ditch, and it’s up to you to keep it on course.